: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Why is your signature on my underwear?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
