Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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