it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
