I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
