Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
My day in three words: secret purse cake
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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