from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
