I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My dick has a subreddit
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
