it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize