I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
you will always have a special place in my vag
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
