there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
