that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
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