I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
