Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
