By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
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