there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She's the barista slut.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
