your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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