how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Randomize
