I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
This couple is walking their pig around campus
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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