girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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