I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
