I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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