I cockslap morals
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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