how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
