she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
