this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
