...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
