Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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