yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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