Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize