when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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