So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
