he wants to bone in the snuggie
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
