just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
