So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
