Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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