you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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