what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
