why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
