the condom got lost in my hair
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize