Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
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I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
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