R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Randomize
