I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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