found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize