who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
