I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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