FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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