How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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