when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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