if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
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