it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
ok first of all what the fuck
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
