I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize