i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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