a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
