I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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