he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
So. Much. Porn.
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