i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
