He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
