I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
