Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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