so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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