No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm like, not good at living.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
