im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
