His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
