I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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