4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
