end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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