i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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