i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We need to get me chipped asap
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
