Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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