I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
