he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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